


Oh how you loved them

by KittieCatJay



Category: Zombies Run!
Genre: but it's a pretty big spoiler, it's only up to just after Lazarus though, spoiler for season 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-24 17:46:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14959191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittieCatJay/pseuds/KittieCatJay
Summary: Hey so this is my gift for @runners345ready on tumblr! I hope you like it! I tried to make it from 5′s POV on Sam and Simon’s deaths, it came out kinda reading like a drabble but it was really long. Again, spoilers until season 5, mission Lazarus.You've watched both of them die, you've mourned both of them. But you've loved them, and you'll love them till the end.





	Oh how you loved them

You’ve watched both of them die, both of them. Your bubbly protector Sam, always getting you out of trouble; and your flirtatious companion Simon, always getting you into trouble. Simon and Sam, oh god, you love them so much. Oh, the pranks Simon would pull on you and Sam, and sometime you would join him. (But one time you and Sam were able to get him back involving a gallon of glitter and latrine duty for both of you, but oh how it was worth it.) Or those nights in the rec room when they’d put on a movie and the three of you would share a blanket and a bucket full of sarcastic commentary in the place of popcorn.(There were times when Janine would come in a watch quietly from the back of the room, and Simon would quietly join her until she decided to leave.) Those were the good days. Well, at least as good as things could get during the zombie apocalypse.   
But then they ended. Then you watched both of them die. You ran as each of you died. (It’s the apocalypse, so of course you had to watch them die. No matter how much you wished that you would’ve meet at a university somewhere. No matter how much you wished that you would’ve been able to go on dates and worked out awkwardly how your relationship would work out. No matter how much you wished that you would have welcomed those boys into your family unit that was somehow more accepting than either of their families.) And how you mourned them. Most of the township just couldn’t understand just how much it broke their silent hero.

It shouldn’t have been a surprise that Simon would have died first. After all you’re runners, death is constantly trying to claim those who leave the safety of Able. Death in the form of zombies, and psychos, and hostile townships, and tone controlled zombies. But it’s none of these thing that claim Simon. It’s himself really. His own cells decided they wanted to live too much and they tried to take over his lungs, and he tried to stop it. He went to Van Ark. He sold us out. He was going to kill Abel. And Jamie stopped him. And you were running back with Carena in your arms, he was back there screaming, and oh god, he was left to be eaten by zombies.(Even if Sam or you had noticed anything, you doubt either of you could have done something. But maybe you could’ve tried. Maybe he could’ve stayed) By the time you got back to Abel no one questioned why the first thing you did was collapse into Sam’s arms. After all, you were just tortured by Van Ark, watched friends die, almost gotten killed many times over, killed Van Ark, and had possible ran more in the past 48 hours than the rest of your life. But there was partying to be done so you and Sam keep yourselves together. (That night after part of the township leaves it’s impossible to not break down, Abel couldn’t even have one victory. You had gone to bed with Sam that night and the two of you had numbly fallen asleep quickly. After all, search parties were going to be sent out at first light tomorrow.)  
It was a surprise to find out he hadn’t died. When Simon showed up again half of his face is missing and at least half of his arm as well. When the two of you finally made it to his sad little shack you turned and saw almost no remnants of the man you had once loved. His dark eyes, at least the one you could see, had shown both his guilt and his burning hope as he made you promise to not tell the others. It took all of your willpower, but you had been able to keep that promise. (Even if you hid yourself in your room when you got back to Abel and refused to talk to Sam about what happened. Even if you couldn’t look Janine in the eye for a week straight and told the exact same story each time she asked. You always keep your promise.) Then you and Jody was going to die. Then Amelia had betrayed Abel. Then you had to watch Simon leave; and had to face Sam and Janine after not telling them the man they had loved had been alive. (You had all but disappeared for a week after that, others only saw you for runs and events that require your presence.)   
You knew there was still some trace of the old Simon when he showed up just in time to stop you from killing Sam. (When you woke up and saw him it broke you to see just how much the three of you had changed from those days of pranking one another and watching movies. You kept thinking about the ‘what could have’ when it got this dark.) But he leaves and doesn’t show back up again until you and Maxine are in London. He’s gone after Moonchild addresses him over the PA system and you have the sinking feeling of him betraying you again. Janine’s voicing the same thoughts surfacing in your head. You hear the same sinking feeling in Sam’s voice until Simon confronts Moonchild with you. After hearing about how to fix the mistakes Moonchild made you’re ready to put the neural net on your head when Simon offers to do it. You and Sam and Janine all allow him to do it. Sprinting from the burning tower, you once again hear his screams as he dies. (And you pray to whatever god there is that Janine is right, that Simon had died in that fire because oh how he did not deserve all of that pain.)

It was surprising when Sam died. He was suppose to stay in the township and stay safe. But it was because of Maxine that he left. The two of you had grown more distant after what had happened with Simon, and he needed to help look after his child. After her birth, you had fought tooth and nail to keep her safe, but it was Sam who dashed into the zombie-infested building after her. It was Sam who had ran faster than you to get to her. He’s shoving her through the bars towards you. His eyes were darker than Simon’s and his pupils were blown huge with fear, but they held the same bright and burning hope in you. He made you promise to keep her safe, to get her to her mom’s, and to get her out of here. Once more, you turned and ran from your love as he died screaming. (Once you got back to the township and gave Sara back to her mom’s you had disappeared. Nobody, not even Janine could find you until it was announced over the PA that you were needed for the search party. Only then did you show up with little acknowledgement to anyone, dread weighing your thoughts.)   
There was a vastly different amount of time between Simon’s ‘death’ and his reappearance vs Sam’s. Simon’s was the better part of a year, Sam’s was hours. After everyone returned to Abel there was much to be done, including care for their newest member. There was no doubt that you would be on the search party, despite your exhaustion and various injuries. First you had run by the building making sure Sam(or rather his recently reanimated corpse) wasn’t inside, then towards the alley where his tracker had lead. You began looking up and done for some sign of him. His corpse, his zombie, even his jacket at this point would be something. Then you had found him, alive, in a dumpster of all places. And then we were bringing him home and Veronica saved Paula and everything was ok. (You would still get nightmares about it, but Sam was staying with Maxine, Paula, and Sara most of the time so you’d just make sure that he’s still alive. Then you’d quickly duck back out and stay awake most of the night.)

Dr. Necropolis is Simon, but he also isn’t. Something in him had changed last time he ‘died’. He isn’t the broken man he was when you last saw him, but he also isn’t your Simon. So you play along in his game and eventually, he helps your little ragtag group of rebels find a home. Sam noticed Dr. Necropolis’s identity the first time they meet, but when he looked over at you and Janine and decided to keep quiet about it. (Later, you, Sam, and Janine have a discussion and agree to not bring it up, to let him tell them if he wants to. Sometimes, the dead should just stay dead.) There’s a couple of times when someone slips up, but they normally catch themselves before someone else notices it. (Once, it was movie night and he automatically sat down next to us, and rose when Janine came into the room. He walked by and left the room.) But he was here and that made everything better.

You were under Sigrid’s nose, trying to secure the base under Abel, but she caught you. She knows it’s you and betrayal reads clearer than anything you’ve ever seen in her eyes. By now, you know you’re dead meat. But when you wake up you’re slightly hopeful, even after Veronica tells you you’re her test subject. You’re even more so when Nadia discreetly hands you a mic and Sam’s voice is there. (He’s here and you might still be screwed but at least you’re not alone anymore.) Sam thinks there must be a way out of this, in his eyes there just has to be, but you know. You saw the fire in Sigrid’s eyes, she won’t let you get out of this alive. Then you fall off that fence, onto your face of all things, and the zombie has bitten you and you know it’s over. You still listen to Sam but you can feel the bite burning and your legs are getting heavy. Moonchild is convinced this is how you’ll go and by this point, you’re starting to agree with her. You slow to a stop with your running and between this breath and the next you’re gone.  
But you wake up. And you hear Sam crying and Moonchild saying that, well you’re still you in there. Nicki’s bit and on the ground and you give her a hand up. There’s hope now, for you, in Sam’s voice, in getting you out of here. It still got a lot of people hurt but no one knows that you’re not a zombie so you’re safe for now. Now you get to go home. (The bite will still burn for days afterward and you’ll get nightmares for months, but you tell yourself “at least you’re alive.”)

You’ve watched them both die, and you’ve seen them come back. Oh, how you’ve watched them grow. Simon’s well, not Simon anymore. He’s more reserved and thoughtful, but he’s also more willing to put himself in harm's way to protect someone important. (Even if it won’t cause him permanent damage it still hurts. You worry about him, but he still tries to leave the room everytime you or Sam enter it so you don’t get to bring it up for a long time.) Sam has grown so much. He’s no longer the young university kid who was failing engineering, nor is he the ‘smile through everything’ person he was months ago. He’s a dad now. (Even if you don’t get to see him much anymore, you’ll still miss him. You help him out when you can but Sara’s still so small and he’s grown closer to Maxine and Paula now.) You’ll still wistfully wish for a world where you guys could have all been friends in some university or at least not like this but you’ve learned to take what you can get. And you’ve got the two people you love the most in the world still with you, and you’re still here, so maybe it’ll be ok. (Maybe one day you’ll get to do the confetti prank you were planning, or maybe you’ll get to sit down and finally watch that Star Wars movie you picked up ages ago. Maybe you’ll still get to introduce them to any family you’ve still got left. Maybe you’ll make it out of this alive.)

**Author's Note:**

> So I don't write fanfiction often, let alone posting it, but tell me what you guys think! I worked really hard on it!


End file.
